If I Stay

If I Stay
author: Gayle Forman
published: April 2nd 2009
pages: 201
my rating: 5 out of 5 stars


Just listen, Adam says with a voice that sounds like shrapnel.

I open my eyes wide now.
I sit up as much as I can.
And I listen.

Stay, he says.

Choices. Seventeen-year-old Mia is faced with some tough ones: Stay true to her first love—music—even if it means losing her boyfriend and leaving her family and friends behind?

Then one February morning Mia goes for a drive with her family, and in an instant, everything changes. Suddenly, all the choices are gone, except one. And it's the only one that matters.

If I Stay is a heartachingly beautiful book about the power of love, the true meaning of family, and the choices we all make.


If I Stay is an incredible heartbreaking book (and movie) but still somehow peaceful and almost happy. I absolutely loved it! It's truly unique, amazing and just plain beautiful.




Mia's life is shattered when she gets into an car accident and know she has to decide between staying and living her life as an orphan and leaving everyone else behind. She isn't dead yet but not far away from it and she is outside of her body seeing everything around her.
Her choice was so sad because either way nothing is going to be alright. While trying to come to a solution Mia thinks back to her life and so the story alternates between her current situation and her past.

Even before everything went wrong Mia's life wasn't that easy. She is deeply in love with Adam and he is also deeply in love with her but their relationship isn't perfect, far from it. They both love music, she plays the cello and Adam is the lead singer in a rising rock band. Despite both of them trying, their lives seem to grow further apart and both know that it's not going to stay that way. But Mia also has great memories from them so sweet and beautiful they made everything even worse.
Because I wanted them to be together and happy so desperately, even if it is just in a flashback. Seeing how two people can truly love each other and still don't get a happily ever after is heartbreaking and then there is this horrible accident on top of everything.

Every character in this book was great. Obviously I loved Mia and Adam but I also really loved Mia's family and friends. I was so happy to read a book with a great family dynamic and great friendships but of course it made her situation even more sad.
Music is something everyone in this book is connected to in some way and it almost felt magical.

When I read the last page, I wasn't sure wether to cry or to smile. I guess I kinda did something of both. The book reaches this point of peacefulness at one point and even though it's still extremely sad and heartbreaking, it's also beautiful.
I did watch the move before reading the book so I knew how it was going to end but that didn't take anything away from the ending. Although, if you don't want to get spoiled, do NOT read the back of the second book (or spin of book, I'm not entirely sure) because it will spoil the ending and obviously don't watch the movie (duh).
I also highly recommend the movie, Chloe Grace Moritz is one of my favorite actresses of all time and I think she portrayed Mia really well. Obviously I recommend reading this book as well although you might want to stay at home reading it if you don't want to cry in public.